I think reworking the dialogue between Ren and Palpatine at the start would really improve on the plot,the characters and their motivations. I tried reconstructing the dialogue into its original form in the script and I think its very doable with what we have.
-I have died before, the dark side of the force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural
-What are you?
-More than a clone, less than a man !
-What could you give me ?
-Everything… A new Empire,
The might of the final Order will soon be ready. I’m too weak and soon I will die…the fleet will be yours if you do as I ask…Bring the girl! Take the thrown! and become what your grand father Vader could not. You will rule the galaxy together as Emperor and Empress, A dyad in the force, a dyad of the dark side…
-Who is she?
-Not who you think she is…
- {:
So I did a mockup of this, audio ain’t my strong suit so anyone is welcome to have a go at it.
https://vimeo.com/407756306