Rey’s vision feels absolutely perfect, better than the original for sure.
Kylo’s vision veers a bit into fanedit territory for me, mainly due to reusing so many shots from TLJ. Perhaps removing some of the shots that are clearly not from Kylo’s POV would help. I agree with Hal that if there’s a way to use Luke for haunting purposes, perhaps the closeup of his face in his duel with Kylo, that would be ideal.
Yes the Rey vision is far better than the original. Great idea with the lightning from Rey then from the Emperor-- and then the well done dyad at the end. Soooo much better. The only thing possibly to consider: would the female hand with lightning reveal too much of the future and spoil the Pasaana scene for 1st time viewer? Probably not, but just something to consider.
The idea is it’s a vision of Rey’s dark future, so hopefully when you see that happen on Pasaana you think “oh it’s coming true.” Ideally a first viewer should just think her hand with the lightning is just another hypothetical until it happens.
The Kylo vision is done well but feels more like a recap with all the TLJ visuals. I’d try to stick to
TLJ audio with more TROS visuals that could fit with it.
The goal is to make it more past-focused, justifying his decision to rebuild the mask. It’s sort of a contrast with Rey where she’s seeing a future she wants to prevent and Kylo’s seeing past mistakes he’s trying to reconcile with.