Kylo’s vision veers a bit into fanedit territory for me, mainly due to reusing so many shots from TLJ. Perhaps removing some of the shots that are clearly not from Kylo’s POV would help. I agree with Hal that if there’s a way to use Luke for haunting purposes, perhaps the closeup of his face in his duel with Kylo, that would be ideal.
That’s fair, Kylo is definitely the one I’m still iffy on. I worry it’s a bit too long, but at the same time I don’t want it to be too short, because it’s a scene all it’s own now. There’s a balance. I planned to have Luke at first but when I got down to it it didn’t fit the structure I was making. Perhaps there’s a world where the vision is less long and less focused (more like Rey’s), and I can slip some Luke in there like I planned. I’ll keep it as is for now and come back to this later with fresh eyes.