It feels odd to go from Kylo on the destroyer to down on the planet with no establishing shots in between.
I agree. The technical work is good, but from a storytelling pov this basically just adds another location to the already fairly large list of locations (EXT: Space, INT: Star Destroyer, EXT: Forest, EXT: Ruins, INT: Ship, EXT: Space) being blipped through in about 3 min before Kylo is actually on his way to do what the crawl says he’s doing.
However, the crawl is a big improvement. The only thing that feels very strange to me is to mention that Leia is ‘ailing’ right before playing up the strength of the Resistance.
How about something like this?
The Galaxy is divided. All across the stars,
good people stand for their freedom, and are
cruelly struck down by the tyrannical FIRST ORDER.
GENERAL LEIA ORGANA, her health failing,
sends heroes of THE RESISTANCE
in her stead, recruiting thousands of new
rebels for the ultimate fight.
Meanwhile, SUPREME LEADER KYLO REN searches
for the source of his former master’s dark
power, to win this final war once and for all…
I don’t think that’s THE solution, but maybe there’s an idea or a direction in there that might be useful? Use (or ignore) as needed 😃