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Post #1325147

Author
idir_hh
Parent topic
The Sequel Trilogy: Trilogized
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/1325147/action/topic#1325147
Date created
14-Feb-2020, 2:48 PM
Last modified
17-Feb-2020, 7:09 AM
Edited by
idir_hh
Reason for edit
None provided

Love your ideas for this edit, here is my input.

  • New crawl for TFA that hints someone we know might have returned and establishes that he’s responsible for building and sending the First Order as a threat. Here’s a work-in-progress:

"a familiar ancient evil has returned and built an armada known as the FIRST ORDER.

Could be a little on the nose but this version could better explain the political situation as well as hint at Palpatine.

"The Republic has Shattered! A thousand worlds have rallied behind the tyrannical Legions of the FIRST ORDER, an ominous armada from Beyond the known galaxy Ruled by a PHANTOM SHADOW.

Luke Skywalker has VANISHED, with no help from the JEDI and the CRIPPLED Republic, GENERAL LEIA ORGANA has scraped together a brave RESISTANCE. She is desperate to find her brother LUKE and gain his help in restoring peace and justice to the galaxy.

In a desperate race against THE FIRST ORDER to find THE LAST JEDI, LEIA has sent her most daring pilot on a secret mission to Jakku where an old ally has found a clue to his whereabouts…"

-I don’t think Snoke should have the title of “Supreme” Leader since technically he is second in command to Palps, “Leader Snoke” would be more fitting.

-Kylo hearing “find me” from Vader’s helmet is a little too soon of a reveal for me, maybe hearing Vader’s breathing and a faint cackle from Palpatine would be more subtle. "find me " can be moved to when he holds the Wayfinder on Mustafar.

Meanwhile, Kylo Ren, hearing voices from the beyond, searches for the source of an immense dark power beyond even Snoke…"

-I would suggest changing it to “Searches for the source an immense dark power beyond his master Snoke…”

Move the opening scene of TROS to the very start of TLJ. Pan down to Kylo flying in to Mustafar where we see him slaughter the natives and finding the Wayfinder. Having Kylo be aware of a bigger power than Snoke and searching for it ties into his growing resistance to Snoke that we see throughout TLJ and his decision to kill him. It doesn’t undermine his resolve to kill those above him and become Supreme Leader because he’s searching for Palpatine so we can kill him too.

Moving this scene to after Kylo gets berated by SNOKE would make more narrative sense. “Prepare my ship!”- rages on to Mustafar. Either way something has to be done about that scar.

  • Palpatine doesn’t say “kill the girl”, he only says “find the girl”. This change will be made throughout TROS. Palpatine’s plan in this film doesn’t make sense if he wants Kylo to kill Rey but at the end actually wanted her there to be Empress. In my version, he’s telling Kylo to find her.

Agreed, except “Bring the girl” would clarify his intentions better.

  • Palpatine doesn’t say he created Snoke. We change the word “created” to “trained”. It is a lot less dumb to have Snoke be a real dark side user that Palpatine trained as an apprentice to lead the First Order as opposed to being a clone (which doesn’t fit with how he’s been presented since TFA).

Love this, when he says “You will rule the galaxy as the New Emperor” I would change it to “You will rule the Galaxy as Emperor and Empress” This would further motivate Kylo Ren.

  • New TROS crawl (WIP):

"Having schemed from the shadows for decades, a clone of the late EMPEROR PALPATINE brought terror to the galaxy through Snoke and the FIRST ORDER. Now he uses his shadow clone army to unleash the FINAL ORDER and complete his conquest.

Not a big fan of the Clone thing, I would go with something more like this:

"The PHANTOM EMPEROR lives! His spirit enchained within the broken shell of his body through SORCERY, the late SITH LORD schemed from the shadows for decades bringing terror to the galaxy through Snoke and the FIRST ORDER. Now he uses his shadow clone army to unleash his FINAL ORDER and complete his conquest.

-What do you think of including the fortnite radio Broadcast at the start of TROS, something akin to this
https://youtu.be/Slsj4YeYaYQ?

Anyway I like where you’re going with this edit and I’m looking forward to see more.