I feel like many people look at Kylo and Vader through the lens of them being authoritarian dictators, when I think we should look at them through the lens of family. Fathers and sons. This isn’t a story about Adolf Hitler or a Neo-Nazi, it’s a story about your estranged father or your misguided son. Or even you, after you’ve realized you’ve made some mistakes in your life and you may have hurt people you care about. And I think the films try to send a message that it is never too late do try and do the right thing. To make amends with your loved ones.
I think you’re right, but more specifically I think this was only correct post-TESB. It’s like Lucas suddenly deciding that Leia was Luke’s sister, or that Anakin was only 45 when he died. Lucas clearly decided that it was all about the father/son thing circa ROTJ, but he just didn’t seem to acknowledge what had gone before, just like he seemed to have forgotten Luke and Leia’s flirtations in the previous films. Vader was not a sympathetic character - the first thing he did in ANH is lift a guy up by the neck and crush his larynx! I just think George got the balance wrong. It’s nice for someone, even Vader, to get a shot at redemption, but I wish the whole thing had been more nuanced from Luke’s POV.