The version looks nice! Just spitballing, but I’ve been thinking about how Anakin and Obi’s convo could be altered to remove the Empire.

You would have to cut to Obi-Wan checking Padme a little earlier since Anakin starts saying, “I have brought peace, yada yada” in the wide. You might can reverse the insert shot of Obi so he continues down to touch her face, then in the Anakin CU we just see him raising up.
If you could somehow splice the shot of Anakin staring toward camera in the foreground and Obi in the background, as Obi raises up into view you could have Anakin say, “Don’t make me kill you.”
(If you managed to do this, I think it could be useful to keep, “I see through the lies of the Jedi, I do not fear the dark side as you do.” In order to fill the quiet space as Obi checks Padme. It could still work with just some silence though.)
Then you cut to the shot looking over Anakin’s shoulder and have Obi say, “Anakin, face up to what you’ve done!”
Then it cuts to just Obi, and we hear Anakin say, “If you’re not with me…”, which Obi replies with, “I will do what I must.”

If you could manage this, it could be useful to have Anakin still be focused on Padme somewhat, so you could keep, “You will not take her from me!” line.