I really love this idea.
Intercutting the Star destroyers going down is great. I might actually consider a couple clips of the “they’re just people” moment, although if it detracts too much from Luke’s moment, it might not work.
Part of me wishes some of the Rey/Kylo stuff from TROS was salvageable because there was some compelling DNA there, but in this duology, it just wouldn’t be necessary.
I don’t know that you could use much more than that.