Man behind desk [shouting]: WHAT DO YOU WANT?
Customer: Well… well, I was told outside that…
Man behind desk [shouting]: DON’T GIVE ME THAT, YOU SNOTTY-FACED HEAP OF PARROT DROPPINGS!
Customer: What?
Man behind desk [shouting]: SHUT YOUR FESTERING GOB, YOU TIT! YOUR TYPE MAKES ME PUKE! YOU VACUOUS TOFFEE-NOSED MALODOROUS PERVERT!
Customer: Yes, but I came here for an argument!
Man behind desk: Oh! Oh! I’m sorry! This is abuse!
Customer: Oh! Oh, I see!
Man behind desk: Aha! No, you want room 12A, next door.
Customer: Oh… Sorry…
Man behind desk: Not at all!
Man behind desk [under his breath]: Stupid git.