Your work is great, keep it up!
Also, I would certainly try with the audio only changes. You bring up good points and also, it made me think would it be better to be far more subtle than trying to hint at things too much? Probably, especially if you are going to have the Palp Radio Dialogue ThingyTM. Just having the whispers doesn’t really “reveal” or overtly hint at anything. Why? This is a Dark side place, we as the audience know that! So having those whispers isn’t really pointing “Hey, we are hinting something, can’t you tell?!”
As for #4, if you can strike a good balance of not using any or most of the reuse of scenes would be great. Especially lessening Palp’s lines would be key too. I am liking your direction.