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Post #1318062

Author
Hal 9000
Parent topic
TFA: A Gentle Restructure (Released)
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/1318062/action/topic#1318062
Date created
7-Jan-2020, 7:17 AM

EddyMerkxs said:

The sinister FIRST ORDER plots its return to power, hidden in the ashes of the fallen Empire.

Failing to convince the NEW REPUBLIC to investigate this emerging threat, General Leia Organa mobilizes a covert RESISTANCE while the First Order completes a devastating new weapon.

The first sentence doesn’t make sense. The FO is plotting the Empire’s return to power and this reordering of the sentence muddies that.

I guess ‘combat’ sounds more exciting than ‘investigate.’ I think that idea is enough to imply it is a fringe movement that the government isn’t properly concerned by.