I have an idea for the scene when Kyloe meets Palpatine, which, in your version, happens at the end of TLJ. I wouldn’t have the whole scene here, just one line from Palpatine: “At last” and one or two frames showing his face in the shadow. Then Kylo points his lightsaber at him, implying he wants to kill him. The rest of the scene would stay in TROS.
I feel that seeing the Sith fleet rise right after Luke restores the spark of hope in the galaxy would negate his heroics to soon after his sacrifice. The suggested version would mirror the original ending of TFA with Rey finding Luke but their actual exchange happening in the next film. (I know you want to change that, but I like the original ending of TFA.)
Another suggestion: keep Snoke being a Palpatine creation and the shot of his Snoke clone bodies. Snoke’s biggest motivation in TFA and TLJ was finding and killing Luke Skywalker. That makes sense if Snoke is Palpatine: he wants to take revenge on the man that killed him and took down his Empire. And than springing into action the last phase of his grand plan when Luke does die and the final obstacle for his Imperial restoration is cleared.