Yes, I tend to think that “Rey shouldn’t love abusive man” is a sort of one dimensional way of viewing their relationship.
What other way is it? She fell for him because he has a nice body (TLJ scene) and because JJ Abrahams wanyed to redeem another villain so badly. Kylo is a man child, he is a murderer and the only interaction he has with Rey is during fights… Its so messed up.
I think it’s quite obvious that they came together based on their lives and growing up lonely wanting a family.
Ben had a family, one that he not only left, but actually killed off. Another thing, its hard to believe that Rey would fall for the guy who killed the closest father figure she had in this whole trilogy - Hans. This is just Twilight levels of masoquism.