A couple of minor fixes:
It’s weird that Leia dies, but her body waits to disappear until Ben’s body does. Moving that shot to right after her death would be pretty simple.
They make a point of saying how nobody answered their distress call from Crait, but then the explanation for how they get the MASSIVE fleet at the end basically boils down to “Lando made a few calls.” Cut the earlier line, and then imply that the closing fleet is simply the payoff for all the recruitment the Resistance has been doing over the past several months (or however long it’s been since TLJ).
I think the idea was that Leia was waiting on her son? But I just assumed they disappear as soon as they die. You would run into the issue where Poe talks in front of her body.
I had that thought about the ally comment as well. It is a nice little interaction, but I do think there should be an implication that the Resistance is growing. I don’t know how you could cut that line but keep the bulk of that scene.