In all seriousness:
Palpatine is back and it’s not explained how.
Kylo goes to find him and it’s not explained why he was looking for him, or how he knows he’s alive.
Snoke was a clone made by Palpatine. Not explained how or why, or anything more said on the matter.
Palpatine somehow has a whole fleet of Star Destroyers with Death Star guns on them. Not explained how.
Rey is a Palpatine, her Dad was Palpatine’s son (not explained how), so Rey is his granddaughter.
Rey and Kylo can both save people from death and bring them back to life. Not explained how.
Luke retconned from being a sad old suicidal man to “secretly” keeping tabs on Palpatine.
Luke and Leia retconned to “know” Rey was a Palpatine the entire time.
Leia dies, horrifically forced and poorly handled.
Han is in it as a “memory” (???). Makes no sense whatsoever, but then neither does anything in this stupid movie.
Palpatine shoots lightning at Rey, who deflects it back to Palpatine (Palpatine apparently decides that simply not shooting lightning anymore makes too much sense), then dies.
Ben almost dies. Then he comes back. Then he dies. But wait no not actually. Then he dies (for real this time).
Rey steals the Skywalker name.
Force ghost Luke and Leia. Both look horrific and Leia is clearly CGI. Because nothing shouts “respect” like CGI’ing the ghost of a dead actress into your film for cheap nostalgia brownie points.
Those are the main points. I could write an essay on everything that happens in this ridiculous movie but it’s not worth my time.
That’s the word to describe the movie. “Not explained”.
Palpatine is alive? Not explained.
The Chosen One prophecy? not explained.
Palpatine had a son? Not explained, and there’s not a single clue about it in previous movies, novels, comics.
They built the mistery of Snoke… just to throw it into the garbage by saying: “Oh, well, you know, he was a clone”.
The first thing Luke says is something about respect for the lightsaber. I mean, come on!
Palpatine’s plan changes three times in one single movie.
The kiss is just ridiculous.
The movie tries to link to Episode VI and the Rule of Two, but fails miserably, because if you watch Episode VI it is clear that Palpy just wants Luke to fall to the dark side and replace Anakin.