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Episode II: Shroud of the Dark Side (the TM edit) (Released) — Page 16
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I LOVE the way these crawls are looking. I like the "acting Senator" suggestion because in a word it activates her role -- the Queen is doing something special -- that's why she's a target.
But I point out that saying "Ten years after Palpatine rose to power in the Galactic Senate, unrest once again pervades the Galaxy" has a grammer problem. If we say "after" Palpatine "rose" to power, it implies the second half of the sentence should also be past tense -- "after" he "rose" to power, unrest "pervaded" the Galaxy -- it implies a past tense to the whole sentence.
"After Jim rose from bed, unrest once again pervades the galaxy." Those tenses don't agree.
"After Jim's rise from bed, unrest once again pervades the galaxy." That works.
Ten years after Palpatine'S RISE to power... objectifies the verb and puts the sentence in the present.
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Originally posted by: Rebel11_38
I wish I could get the uppercase ARMY OF THE REPUBLIC all on one line, but no amount of formatting is really going to make that look right.
Yeah I know, it is only possible with a rewrite, but as I said, the final result looked no where near as bad as I thought it would.
I simply thought of the 'returning' as a reference to the events in TPM, but it also makes sense that as the Senator she would regularly visit Coruscant.
[edit]Originally posted by: MTHaslett
I think it should be remembered this is an edit by Trooperman -- he will do what he wants. We can all bitch if we want, but then it becomes time to do our own edit.
I wish I could get the uppercase ARMY OF THE REPUBLIC all on one line, but no amount of formatting is really going to make that look right.
Yeah I know, it is only possible with a rewrite, but as I said, the final result looked no where near as bad as I thought it would.
Originally posted by: Rebel11_38
In the last variant where I posted about Padme being the acting senator I also changed the word "returning" to "traveling." I wanted to know what the general feeling was on that. I mean, if you say returning, the question is from where. Well, you can say she's returning from Naboo...but why would you say returning? Did she recently leave and now she is coming back? Or is Coruscant her home? See, it doesn't make as much sense to say returning or returns. TM did have "en route," and while it conveys the idea, I agree that it is a bit clumsy to use in a title crawl. So, if someone could think of a word like "traveling" or a synonym that would be great.
I just looked at the official ep. II crawl and it does the same thing with the word "returning;" it isn't given any sort of context. I thought I remembered seeing the official crawl saying something about Padme returning for the first time in ten years, but after I looked at it I realized I was thinking of the Clone War by MagnoliaFan. He was first person to use the word "returning" and have it actually mean something!
In the last variant where I posted about Padme being the acting senator I also changed the word "returning" to "traveling." I wanted to know what the general feeling was on that. I mean, if you say returning, the question is from where. Well, you can say she's returning from Naboo...but why would you say returning? Did she recently leave and now she is coming back? Or is Coruscant her home? See, it doesn't make as much sense to say returning or returns. TM did have "en route," and while it conveys the idea, I agree that it is a bit clumsy to use in a title crawl. So, if someone could think of a word like "traveling" or a synonym that would be great.
I just looked at the official ep. II crawl and it does the same thing with the word "returning;" it isn't given any sort of context. I thought I remembered seeing the official crawl saying something about Padme returning for the first time in ten years, but after I looked at it I realized I was thinking of the Clone War by MagnoliaFan. He was first person to use the word "returning" and have it actually mean something!
I simply thought of the 'returning' as a reference to the events in TPM, but it also makes sense that as the Senator she would regularly visit Coruscant.
[edit]Originally posted by: MTHaslett
I think it should be remembered this is an edit by Trooperman -- he will do what he wants. We can all bitch if we want, but then it becomes time to do our own edit.
But it should also be remembered that Trooperman has asked for opinions on his edits, so presumably this edit is not ONLY for him, but also for the enjoyment of others (quite noble, I think I personally wouldn't care too greatly what others thought of any edits I ended up doing). The added bonus for Trooperman is he may end up with an edit that pleases him better than one based only off his own ideas. Of what little I've read in this thread I really haven't seen anyone 'bitch' about what they want.[/edit]
Ooh, a laserdisc. The Cheat's playin' something on a laserdisc.
Everything is better on a laserdisc. Whatever happened to the laserdisc? Laserdisc!
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This is perfect spacing and it's exactly want I want for paragraph, to the letter. 3. "Returns" in this case is not improper grammar. Take away the bit sandwiched with commas ("serving as Senator of Naboo") and you get, "Queen Amidala returns to Coruscant to vote on the critical issue of creating an ARMY OF THE REPUBLIC to support the overwhelmed Jedi...." Nothing wrong with that one. It's the same as "Pursued by the Empire's sinister agents, Princess Leia races home" etc. in the original.
Which brings me to the first paragraph. I just realized they have an apostrophe in the original crawl (as I just saw above). Coupled with the grammatical inaccuracy of what I had before, heck- I'll use this one, exactly (to the letter) as it is in this screengrab:
I believe that everything is now crystal clear.
Oh, and as for "ARMY OF THE REPUBLIC" on one line....that's kind of like how they originally had "DEATH STAR" on the same line in the original SW crawl but had to split it up onto different lines when they reformatted it in '81. Not a big deal at all.
As for all the input on the crawl- I love it. I'd much rather have too many opinions than too few.
Episode II: Shroud of the Dark Side
“Back when we made Star Wars, we just couldn’t make Palpatine as evil as we intended. Now, thanks to the miracles of technology, it is finally possible. Finally, I’ve created the movies that I originally imagined.” -George Lucas on the 2007 Extra Extra Special HD-DVD Edition
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What format do you want the file in? Uncompressed .avi, .mpeg, .mov?
If you want it in uncomprssed .avi it would probably be best for you to find a site I can host the file and then you can download it from there.
Let me know.
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Format? Since I'm going to be going to MPEG-2 anyway (and since all of my other sources are MPEG-2), could you encode MPEG-2 at around 8 or 9 for a constant bitrate? (which should look very good).
Here is what forum member None recommended for uploading files:
http://www.yousendit.com/
http://www.megaupload.com/
http://rapidshare.de/
Yousendit basically works by you emailing me a link to the file (which has been uploaded on their server). I don't know what kind of connection speed you have, so that might take too long. Maybe split-rar would work. In any case, I'll PM you my email address.
Thanks again!
Episode II: Shroud of the Dark Side
“Back when we made Star Wars, we just couldn’t make Palpatine as evil as we intended. Now, thanks to the miracles of technology, it is finally possible. Finally, I’ve created the movies that I originally imagined.” -George Lucas on the 2007 Extra Extra Special HD-DVD Edition
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The crawl is done 2:35.1 widescreen with black bars burned in. I figured if I burned them in that you could have a choice of whether you wanted to go straight widescreen, i.e. letterbox, or anamorphic widescreen and crop the borders.
I also put a couple of black frames before STAR WARS bursts onto teh screen. Just in case the program you are using misinterprets the footage and shaves a few frames at the beginning...now you should be covered. I also left you about 15 seconds of just space after the crawl has faded out so you would have more than enough to work to blend this footage with your own.
I'll PM you with the link to the file and I'll post here to telling you that the file is ready.
Have fun.
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I forgot to ask (but I can probably make it work either way)- is this file 24fps, 30fps (that can be pulled down to 24 fps), or pure 30fps?
Episode II: Shroud of the Dark Side
“Back when we made Star Wars, we just couldn’t make Palpatine as evil as we intended. Now, thanks to the miracles of technology, it is finally possible. Finally, I’ve created the movies that I originally imagined.” -George Lucas on the 2007 Extra Extra Special HD-DVD Edition
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This file was encoded at 2 passese with a bitrate of about 8000. So, it should be high enough quality.
Let me know if there are any problems.
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Thanks again for all your time
Episode II: Shroud of the Dark Side
“Back when we made Star Wars, we just couldn’t make Palpatine as evil as we intended. Now, thanks to the miracles of technology, it is finally possible. Finally, I’ve created the movies that I originally imagined.” -George Lucas on the 2007 Extra Extra Special HD-DVD Edition
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And one other detail remains- I still don't have your name
Episode II: Shroud of the Dark Side
“Back when we made Star Wars, we just couldn’t make Palpatine as evil as we intended. Now, thanks to the miracles of technology, it is finally possible. Finally, I’ve created the movies that I originally imagined.” -George Lucas on the 2007 Extra Extra Special HD-DVD Edition
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Well, it is 91 megs in case you want to try downloading it before Monday. Normally on a dial-up connection that shouldn't take more than, oh.....about 5-6 hours. Gotta love those lightning speeds!
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Perhaps you could split-rar it into 2 parts and put it up on rapidshare. That seems to be a lot speedier.
Thanks!
Episode II: Shroud of the Dark Side
“Back when we made Star Wars, we just couldn’t make Palpatine as evil as we intended. Now, thanks to the miracles of technology, it is finally possible. Finally, I’ve created the movies that I originally imagined.” -George Lucas on the 2007 Extra Extra Special HD-DVD Edition
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Episode II: Shroud of the Dark Side
“Back when we made Star Wars, we just couldn’t make Palpatine as evil as we intended. Now, thanks to the miracles of technology, it is finally possible. Finally, I’ve created the movies that I originally imagined.” -George Lucas on the 2007 Extra Extra Special HD-DVD Edition
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Originally posted by: Trooperman
Episode II
SHROUD OF THE DARK SIDE
Ten years after Palpatine gained
power over the Galactic Senate,
unrest once again pervades the
galaxy. Several thousand star
systems intend to secede from
the Republic.
2nd paragraph is fine.
Queen Amidala, now serving as
the senator of Naboo, returns to
Coruscant to vote on the critical
issue of creating an ARMY OF
THE REPUBLIC to support the
overwhelmed Jedi….
I know that formatting will work because I entered in into my own template and checked for spacing. I believe the text addresses all concerns that have been brought up, and believe it is final at this point. Yes, Padme is still a queen and a senator in my edit.
Another option for paragraph one, however, is...
Ten years after Palpatine
assumed leadership of the
Galactic Senate, unrest once
again pervades the galaxy.
Thousands of systems intend to
secede from the Republic.
This isn't my first choice, however, because the spacing isn't as good and I'm not able to get as specific about how many systems are seceding, and also "star systems" clarifies a bit. If everyone hates the 1st paragraph, however, and you do use this paragraph, please don't force justify the last line. But my first choice is the one above.
Case closed I'm still thrilled to pieces that I'm actually getting a custom made crawl for this film.
MTHaslett- I can help you figure out how to get the media to me- that won't be a problem. I would love a sample of your voice ahead of time, though. I will PM you with details sometime in the future.
I might not be able to post for a while (family over), so I hope I've been clear.
Episode II
SHROUD OF THE DARK SIDE
Ten years after Palpatine gained
power over the Galactic Senate,
unrest once again pervades the
galaxy. Several thousand star
systems intend to secede from
the Republic.
2nd paragraph is fine.
Queen Amidala, now serving as
the senator of Naboo, returns to
Coruscant to vote on the critical
issue of creating an ARMY OF
THE REPUBLIC to support the
overwhelmed Jedi….
I know that formatting will work because I entered in into my own template and checked for spacing. I believe the text addresses all concerns that have been brought up, and believe it is final at this point. Yes, Padme is still a queen and a senator in my edit.
Another option for paragraph one, however, is...
Ten years after Palpatine
assumed leadership of the
Galactic Senate, unrest once
again pervades the galaxy.
Thousands of systems intend to
secede from the Republic.
This isn't my first choice, however, because the spacing isn't as good and I'm not able to get as specific about how many systems are seceding, and also "star systems" clarifies a bit. If everyone hates the 1st paragraph, however, and you do use this paragraph, please don't force justify the last line. But my first choice is the one above.
Case closed
I'm still thrilled to pieces that I'm actually getting a custom made crawl for this film. MTHaslett- I can help you figure out how to get the media to me- that won't be a problem. I would love a sample of your voice ahead of time, though. I will PM you with details sometime in the future.
I might not be able to post for a while (family over), so I hope I've been clear.
But the problem still remains - you're using past tenst for the first line and then present tense for the rest - it's bad use of English and just sounds wrong.
If you want to eliminate the Apostrophe you could say something like 'ten years after the manipulation of the senate by Palpatine' but you have to be consistent in your use of past/present tense.
War does not make one great.
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This is what I’m using and it’s correct, is it not? The apostrophe is OK because there is one in the original ’77 crawl. I realize that the other variants are incorrect grammatically- that’s why Palpatine’s rise has been changed from past tense to a past event, for consistency. I think the crawl is all set grammatically, now.
Episode II: Shroud of the Dark Side
“Back when we made Star Wars, we just couldn’t make Palpatine as evil as we intended. Now, thanks to the miracles of technology, it is finally possible. Finally, I’ve created the movies that I originally imagined.” -George Lucas on the 2007 Extra Extra Special HD-DVD Edition
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Originally posted by: Trooperman
"Ten years after Palpatine’s rise to power in the Galactic Senate, unrest once again pervades the galaxy.”
This is what I’m using and it’s correct, is it not? The apostrophe is OK because there is one in the original ’77 crawl. I realize that the other variants are incorrect grammatically- that’s why Palpatine’s rise has been changed from past tense to a past event, for consistency. I think the crawl is all set grammatically, now.
"Ten years after Palpatine’s rise to power in the Galactic Senate, unrest once again pervades the galaxy.”
This is what I’m using and it’s correct, is it not? The apostrophe is OK because there is one in the original ’77 crawl. I realize that the other variants are incorrect grammatically- that’s why Palpatine’s rise has been changed from past tense to a past event, for consistency. I think the crawl is all set grammatically, now.
That is grammatically perfect and sounds good.
War does not make one great.
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Just curious on how you got the file size so low. Is there any noticeable decrease in quality, or is it all just .rar compression? Thanks!
Episode II: Shroud of the Dark Side
“Back when we made Star Wars, we just couldn’t make Palpatine as evil as we intended. Now, thanks to the miracles of technology, it is finally possible. Finally, I’ve created the movies that I originally imagined.” -George Lucas on the 2007 Extra Extra Special HD-DVD Edition
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It downloaded at around 33 KB/sec, and took about 25 minutes. A lot better than 3 hours!
Thank you- I can't wait to get home and watch this
Episode II: Shroud of the Dark Side
“Back when we made Star Wars, we just couldn’t make Palpatine as evil as we intended. Now, thanks to the miracles of technology, it is finally possible. Finally, I’ve created the movies that I originally imagined.” -George Lucas on the 2007 Extra Extra Special HD-DVD Edition