Your edit works very well, but it reminds me of a general issue I have with ROTS: it’s inconsistent with the tensions between Anakin and Padme/Obi Wan. The deleted scenes create a fairly compelling tension between Anakin and Padme - Padme has started the Rebel Alliance but Bail and Mon Mothma don’t want her to risk involving Anakin so she has to hide it, and Palpatine exploits this to make Anakin distrustful of her, so he blows up at her when she hints that she is actually plotting against Palpatine (“You’re sounding like a separatist!”). But then this doesn’t go anywhere. He goes on to kill Windu and join Palpatine just to save her, and we don’t see any conflict between them again until Mustafar, when he believes she has brought Obi Wan there to kill him. I get that Lucas needed him to somehow cause her to die for his tragedy to work, but the obvious cause for that conflict is him feeling like he’s destroyed everything just to save her and her totally not being on board with it, not her hiding something from him half the movie ago.
I suppose it comes down to my major issue with ROTS: Anakin gives the impression that he earnestly believes the Jedi have betrayed the Republic, and him, and are evil - all because they turned against Palpatine. That fits with his loyalty to Palpatine earlier in the film, certainly, but completely overlooks the fact that Anakin discovered Palpatine was a Sith Lord, claimed he himself wanted to kill him, and then encouraged Mace to go and face Palpatine. From that point onwards, Anakin has no reason to believe Palpatine is the right man to be leading the Republic or anything like that - that’s all been thrown out of the window. This guy has been lying to him for years! The only motivations Anakin has to go along with anything he says is a) his desperation to save Padme and b) his desire to not be killed by the Jedi for dehanding Windu in a moment of panic. He shouldn’t have any kind of actual loyalty to the Chancellor he thought he knew. But then Palpatine starts talking about how the Jedi are going to attack the senate next and Anakin seems to fully buy into it. Is he just pretending so Palpatine doesn’t kill him? He basically tells Padme that he was planning on overthrowing the Chancellor once he’d learned his “new powers”. But then his dialogue with Obi Wan really seems to strongly suggest that he isn’t just playing along with Palpatine’s narrative about a Jedi betrayal, but actually legitimately believes the Jedi are evil. I suppose you could just say he’s deluding himself to feel less bad about what he’s done but it seems like such a cop out for what could be an emotionally compelling and relatable fall to the dark side.
Sorry for the irrelevant rant, but it seems like Lucas just couldn’t decide between two different storylines, one in which Anakin joins Palpatine without realising he’s a Sith Lord due to Palpatine turning him against his friends and the Jedi, and one in which he joins Darth Sidious as a desperate act to try to save Padme to follow up on his fear of loss and guilt in AOTC. Anakin’s loyalty to Palpatine in ROTS after the Sith Lord reveal just seems bizarre and makes him seem stupid. It makes sense that Vader is loyal to Palpatine by the time of the OT - he outright states he can’t disobey his master, he’s essentially a broken man who obeys Palpatine as a slave because he has nothing else left until Luke shows up - but in ROTS he’s a powerful force user trying to save his wife. His actions are almost relatable up to him chopping off Windu’s hand - he really didn’t expect Windu to outright kill Palpatine and had to make a split second choice - and I can follow his thought process through “What have I done? I’ll do anything, just help me save Padme’s life, I can’t live without her.” but then after that he just acts like a brainwashed sociopath, rather than a man forced to double down on a bad decision he made while overwhelmed with emotion.
Sorry, rant over.