Thanks for sharing with me!

I personally think it still needs quite a bit of work to be watchable. Which is perfectly okay if this is your first cut and to be expected.

Here’s my thoughts/suggestions:

Most of the cuts lack audio transitions. This is the bare minimum you should always do to make it seem more smooth.
Not all of the cuts properly take the flow of the movie into consideration or aren’t quite timed ideally, resulting for example in a sweeping camera that almost reaches its target and then is cut off, or abrupt music changes that change the mood unorganically and such.
The WMV Codec isn’t the ideal choice for good quality, I’d go with an x264 encode. The image looks pretty soft at the moment and has lots of compression artifacts and is overall not very enjoyable to look at.
Possibly related to the codec choice, the black levels and overall contrast and colors don’t seem quite right.