This is really cool! While I don’t know if this restructure can totally work (it would make the runtime rather short), I hope you continue working on this so we can actually see what it looks like once it is all laid out that way. That’s the only way to know for sure.

I’ve always been on the fence on redubbing the aliens but I think it works here, and honestly it is perfect for a radical edit, because you can utilize it to fill in the logical gaps that a heavy restructure might create.

One suggestion: could you change “Capital” to “Coruscant” in their dialogue? At first I thought you just meant Theed, and not the capital of the Republic. If that is what you’re going for, at least. It could also help if her location is mentioned in the opening crawl.

I could talk more about this idea but honestly just keep it coming! If you need opinions or thoughts I’m definitely here for that.