The big problem when stitching together dialogue is , if the intonation isn’t quite right, it can throw things off. To me, this sounds unnatural. Great work though. I have a great Vader impersonator that has offered to record some dialogue for me so, if i decide to change the line, it will be re-recorded .
That sounds fantastic to me! Does this person have some Vader impressions publicly available (e.g., on a Youtube page)?