I like the improved version! I do agree that adding the tinny undertone and maybe a pause would help. I experimented with adding a pause when playing around the version seven clip and I liked the idea behind it.
Here’s a new version with a longer pause and more tinny effect on “your mother”.
https://mega.nz/#!7E1xWCzZ!ka8bcqGsxR6yEqknvjvLmHProTb8NqRo69ojG2jbweE