Nev, I had a thought regarding how you wanted to have BB-8 not reveal/know the location of the Resistance base (for very fair plot and character reasons). I lamented the loss of BB-8’s cutest moments, but I think there might be another way to keep them.
I know my “I’ll drop you off at Panima Terminal” sounds bad, but it is just a rough idea. Both of the moments are obviously recontextualized, and may not be as funny as their theatrical counterparts, but I think it would be a fair compromise between keeping some of that humor that makes BB-8 endearing, but also retaining the logic that you’re trying to preserve. I also kept Finn’s line about needing to get out of this system because I felt it flowed better into Rey’s line. Yes, they do jump to hyperspace in your version, but they were only in hyperspace for a minute or less, so it is probably that they are on the outskirts of that system at the very least. Because of how they fell out of hyperspace, I don’t think it will confuse the audience.
I’ve been working on this scene some more, taking into consideration your concept, and here’s what it looks like:
JEDIT: replaced with version sans ‘cute boyfriend’ dialogue:
Password: fanedit
I’ve opted to keep Finn’s goading of BB-8 to make clear that the droid refuses to betray the Resistance, and Rey just moves on without the information and makes her own plans.
I absolutely love your placement of the BB-8 head turns, so I’ve shamelessly stolen it 😃 Focusing on BB-8 here makes the exchange much more funny. Added to this is the ‘thumbs up’ to show that the two can be friends despite Finn’s revelation.