Brannigan: I suffer from a very sexy learning disability. Kif, what do I call it?
Kif: *Sigh* Sexlexia...
Clerk: Okay, our policy is if for any reason you're not completely satisfied, I hate you.
Checkov: When we woke up, we had these bodies
Fry: Say it in Russian!
Checkov Ven ve voke up ve had vese... wodies
Fry: Now say "Nuclear wessels"!
Checkov: No!
Brannigan: That young man fills me with hope, and some other feelings that are weird and deeply confusing...
Spock: When I directed Star Trek 4, I got a great performace out of Bill because I respected him so much
Kirk: And when I directed Star Trek 5, I got a great performace out of me because I respected me so much
Professor: Don't do anything that affects anything. Unless it turns out you were supposed to do it, in which case for the love of God, don't not do it!