Another attempt at the crawl:

Password: fanedit

The crawl runs 81 words now, pretty ideal considering the OT crawls.

The term ‘Jedi Knights’ I feel is appropriate when referring to the group as a whole, even if Luke isn’t technically a knight anymore. Simply referring to Luke as a Jedi leaves the distinctions up to the audience.

Dr. Krogshöj’s verbiage concerning the combination of forces could serve as a good explanation for how the Imperial remnant could gain so much power so quickly. I like the idea that the First Order is a hybrid of disaffected New Republic systems and Imperial holdouts, which is explored a bit more with Canto Bight.

The reason the First Order hasn’t outright attacked the Republic becomes more clear when you take into consideration that the two sides in the battle are more interconnected than it seems, and an attack on the Senate would naturally cause problems with systems leery of the Empire’s more ruthless methods.

I’ve made the weapon more vague again, simply because it does feel too specific for something that won’t be seen until almost halfway through the film. The tricky part is to ride the line between intriguing the audience (which actually wouldn’t be good since it is revealed to be very similar to just another Death Star) and spelling out that it is just another Death Star, which also isn’t true.

Basically, I want to include everyone’s ideas, so I try and it leads to a wordy crawl which must be reworked and simplified so much that it loses the ideas that made the effort interesting. Sigh. It’s getting better though, right? 😉