Glad y’all brought up the klaxon delay since I had meant to ask about that. The intention behind moving it was indeed to have Kylo respond to it, with the added bonus of some cleverness on the part of Phasma: she pressed the silent alarm, which allowed her to not be immediately killed by Finn and co, and which quickly turned into a widespread alarm. This is probably too much of a stretch, since for this to be clear we would need a shot of her pressing a button under the computer console before turning back around. In lieu of this I tried using the music to imply a hidden menace to her actions before the alarm proper starts, though it seems that it’s not enough/weirdly implemented.

Finn’s line is weird as well. I’ve tried to take out just the bucket bit and leave the ‘lower the shields’, but it feels off that way.

And you’re right on both counts about the delayed klaxon, RL!

JEDIT: Thinking about it some more, it might work to place the Hux update scene right after the shield lowering scene and redub the officer to say something like: ‘silent alarm triggered in section 237. The shields are down!’