logo Sign In

Post #1291479

Author
nightstalkerpoet
Parent topic
Star Wars Episode II: The Approaching Storm (Released)
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/1291479/action/topic#1291479
Date created
4-Aug-2019, 5:28 PM

Alright, ran through last night with your Ep 1 (this time to enjoy as opposed to pick apart 😉 )

Suggestions for TAS - lower the pitch of Jar Jar’s voice. It seems higher here, which accents the fact that he already has worse lines in this movie (not much you can do about the lines, “Mesa so smiling to seeing yousa”, “immediately emergency powahs”). You’ve done an awesome job making the two films flow.

I know you’re having some effects work done - any chance you could fix Anakin’s face after he says “I’m sorry, milady”. You’ve removed almost all creepiness. Here it lingers.

Flying through the fire is cool except… when they come out of it, there is nothing behind them to indicate they’ve just come from a red hot area. Made the flow of the chase seem strange to me.

With Possessions, attachments, compassion - by removing possessions, you’ve removed the standard movie trope of 3 things = comfortable payoff. By leaving only two, the scene becomes slightly awkward - since it’s an awkward movie anyway, I think this hurts.

The kiss would work great with a fade out. Fade completely to black silence. Then open to the next morning with Anakin on the balcony. Callback to ANH doing it once or twice, and makes it even more suggestive.

… I don’t know if there’s a different line that can be inserted, or something… but
I cringe every time I hear Obi-Wan tell the Prime Minister when they get up to check on the clones “That’s why I’m here”. He literally just spent the entire conversation explaining he knows nothing about what’s going on and is only there to track a bounty hunter.