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Star Wars Episode II: The Approaching Storm (Released) — Page 24

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When Anakin get capture you probably could remove the arena shot and go straight into the negotiations with Dooku like it would ve been intended if George kept that sequence in because if my memory serves you use that arena shot twice before the interrogation and like the original before they say I love you?

All my life as I looked away to the future, to the horizon. Never in my mind did I know where I was, what I was doing.

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 (Edited)

Hal 9000 said:

jarbear said:

From the current discussion, I am probably more curious with Sir Ridley’s work on having Anakin’s lightsaber retract showing he has his lightsaber but is surrendering … that is the simplest and probably the better way to go.

Here’s the shot in context, if you’d like to take a look. We’re lucky to have Ridley around. 😃

https://vimeo.com/342642767

Nice work. If you’re still entertaining suggestions, the one thing that seems weird is the final shot of Anakin; it seems superfluous, and cutting from Padme to the next scene sounds like it would be a natural progression for the music.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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In the original scene the two final shots of Anakin are together, and the scene transitions from there. The shots of Padme had to be placed in the order they are in order to do what else needed to be done to end the scene.
I think it would feel a little abrupt to just eliminate the last shot, though. But, fair enough. I can take another look, but I doubt it’ll feel as smooth.

My stance on revising fan edits.

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I can see that it may feel rushed with the removal of the last scene. It does work for me as is though.

However for the sake of options, a thought came to my mind of maybe making a swipe transition that mirrors the “Anakin Surrounded by Droidekas” swipe to the arena establishing shot could work … maybe?

“Because you are a PalpaWalker?”

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Hal 9000 said:

jarbear said:

From the current discussion, I am probably more curious with Sir Ridley’s work on having Anakin’s lightsaber retract showing he has his lightsaber but is surrendering … that is the simplest and probably the better way to go.

Here’s the shot in context, if you’d like to take a look. We’re lucky to have Ridley around. 😃

https://vimeo.com/342642767

Nice!!! Now THAT feels like a legit movie transition.

NeverarGreat said:

Hal 9000 said:

jarbear said:

From the current discussion, I am probably more curious with Sir Ridley’s work on having Anakin’s lightsaber retract showing he has his lightsaber but is surrendering … that is the simplest and probably the better way to go.

Here’s the shot in context, if you’d like to take a look. We’re lucky to have Ridley around. 😃

https://vimeo.com/342642767

Nice work. If you’re still entertaining suggestions, the one thing that seems weird is the final shot of Anakin; it seems superfluous, and cutting from Padme to the next scene sounds like it would be a natural progression for the music.

I disagree. The final shot with the destroyer droids and Jango surrounding Anakin emphasizes the fact that Anakin is in a really bad spot and has no chance of winning if he tries to fight his way out. Padme isn’t the main focus because she’s not the one with the ability to slice through armies of droids with a lightsaber.

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Hal 9000 said:

Peter Pan said:

Why not keep the whole garage scene, with the exception of Anakin saying that he killed the women and children?
This way you set up the plot for ROTS, keep Anakins conflict and regret about the slaughter and Padme doesn’t appear to be a hypocrite, because there is obviously a big difference between killing innocent children and the murderer of your mother.

He kills children in both instances. Neither are more or less innocent than the other, and Padme does not care in AOTC. There’s no way I’m reinstating that scene.

It is possible to save Anakin’s confession if you cut every line in italics:

INTERIOR: TATOOINE, HOMESTEAD, GARAGE - DAY

PADMÉ comes in with a tray of food and a blue drink. ANAKIN is standing at a workbench, repairing a part of the speeder bike.

PADMÉ: I brought you something. Are you hungry?

ANAKIN does not look up from the bike part.

ANAKIN: The shifter broke. Life seems so much simpler when you’re fixing things. (as PADME puts down the tray) I’m good at fixing things…always was. But I couldn’t…(stops working, finally looks at her) Why’d she have to die? (sighs) Why couldn’t I save her? I know I could have!

ANAKIN walks offscreen. He continues to walk away from PADME.

PADMÉ: Sometimes there are things no one can fix. You’re not all-powerful, Ani.
ANAKIN: Well I should be! Someday I will be… I will be the most powerful Jedi ever! (turning back to her) I promise you, I will even learn to stop people from dying.

PADMÉ: (concerned) Anakin…
ANAKIN: It’s all Obi-Wan’s fault. He’s jealous! He’s holding me back!

ANAKIN hurls the wrench across the garage. It clatters to the floor. ANAKIN turns away from PADME walks across the garage. PADMÉ stares at him.

ANAKIN: …and not just the men, but the women, and the children too.

The camera zooms in on PADME.

ANAKIN: (offscreen) They’re like animals, and I slaughtered them like animals…I hate them!

ANAKIN’s lip quivers, then he turns away. He goes to the ground. PADME watches him. She sits by him.

PADMÉ: To be angry is to be human.

ANAKIN: (shaking his head at her) I’m a Jedi. I know I’m better than this.

ANAKIN starts to cry softly and PADME puts her hand on the back of his neck. She strokes his head as he cries.

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That’s a pretty good suggestion, LordPlaqueis.

A lot of fan edits remove this scene, but I think it’s an important scene between Anakin and Padme. The theatrical version is problematic (to say the least) for both characters, but if you can trim it down like you suggest it could work in both their favors.

I’d even go a bit further and not show the Tusken slaughter at all. This will leave a bit more ambiguity about what happened and won’t turn the audience off on Anakin immediately. Then, when it’s hinted at in Revenge of the Sith, it adds another layer to the situation: Anakin told Palpatine about what happened, and not Padme. When Padme learns of Anakin’s dark deeds, a thing or two might click for her as well.

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They murdered his mom. Showing Anakin killing the Tuskens right outside his mom’s tent is fine, I would’ve done it too. The only problem is him talking about hunting down everyone, even the women and children. He didn’t need to go that far.

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That implication in ROTS is already present the way things are, and removing the slaughter would only leave the audience scratching their heads when Palpatine references it with no details.

I don’t see any merit to keeping the garage scene without the confession, and while I don’t mind disagreement, it’s a firm resolution for me.

My stance on revising fan edits.

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Just throwing out an idea. It’s your edit 😉

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 (Edited)

Just to be sure about that: you have no intention of putting back some of the “queen meeting” sequence (without “angry Anakin” of course), right ? This scene provides more political exposition and continuity between Episode I and II regarding the Trade Federation and the Naboo official blindess towards the Republic.

(besides the scene is shot on actual set, it’s nice to get as much real locations as possible in this movie)

I’m just mentioning it now to be sure, since you wish v6 to be final.

edit:

Hal 9000 said:

[Place lines from Jamila scene about staying in the lake country to refugee transport scene]

OK, I didn’t remember the queen’s name 😄 nevermind my post then 😃

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I don’t think so because it’s completely political exposition without ‘angry Anakin,’ and ‘angry Anakin’ is opposed to the goal. I don’t hate the scene but it doesn’t do our love story any favors.
I appreciate the vetting, but it’s not something I’ve hemmed and hawed about like some other things.
The worst part of losing it is seeing Padme change clothes between two instances of seeing her walking, but it’s hopefully clear she is staying elsewhere and only visiting her family. (Or else Anakin apparently just ditched her bags at some point.)

My stance on revising fan edits.

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nl0428 said:

Here’s something small that can be done to help the edit feel like more like a feature film.

You shifted the Anakin’s “I’ve got a bad feeling about this” to before the beasts come out of their cells. It might be best to add some of the music and ambiance that plays when the beasts come out in the background for that shot.

Also, since you removed C-3PO and R2-D2 from the arena fight, it would be wise to add some Republic Gunship sounds in the background for the shot of Boba Fett holding his father’s head.

The reason I’m suggesting to add in these instances of background audio is because the transition for those two shots felt a bit abrupt in both the volume and atmosphere.

Indeed, another pass improved these two moments greatly. 😃

My stance on revising fan edits.

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Hal 9000 said:

nl0428 said:

Here’s something small that can be done to help the edit feel like more like a feature film.

You shifted the Anakin’s “I’ve got a bad feeling about this” to before the beasts come out of their cells. It might be best to add some of the music and ambiance that plays when the beasts come out in the background for that shot.

Also, since you removed C-3PO and R2-D2 from the arena fight, it would be wise to add some Republic Gunship sounds in the background for the shot of Boba Fett holding his father’s head.

The reason I’m suggesting to add in these instances of background audio is because the transition for those two shots felt a bit abrupt in both the volume and atmosphere.

Indeed, another pass improved these two moments greatly. 😃

Thanks for taking my advice, Hal!

The name’s Lawson. Noah Lawson.

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I’ll push one last tiny bit for the Garage scene… simply because it shows Padme providing emotional support to Anakin. It shows the transition of worrying about his mom to worrying about Padme.However, my suggestion is far more slim.

INTERIOR: TATOOINE, HOMESTEAD, GARAGE - DAY

PADMÉ comes in with a tray of food and a blue drink. ANAKIN is standing at a workbench, repairing a part of the speeder bike.

PADMÉ: I brought you something. Are you hungry?

ANAKIN does not look up from the bike part.

ANAKIN: The shifter broke. Life seems so much simpler when you’re fixing things. (as PADME puts down the tray) I’m good at fixing things…always was. But I couldn’t…(stops working, finally looks at her) Why’d she have to die? (sighs) Why couldn’t I save her? I know I could have!

ANAKIN turns to walk offscreen. Try and match cut here, matching the turn with-

ANAKIN’s lip quivers, then he turns away. He goes to the ground. PADME watches him. She sits by him.

PADMÉ: To be angry is to be human.

ANAKIN: (shaking his head at her) I’m a Jedi. I know I’m better than this.

ANAKIN starts to cry softly and PADME puts her hand on the back of his neck. She strokes his head as he cries.

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4/5: Adywan
6-9: Hal9000

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 (Edited)

I think that scene would read as rather short, though something to that effect would have been more underplayed and superior to what we got in the actual movie.
However, I still prefer to leave Anakin‘s struggle mostly in subtext, except for his statement during the funeral about not wanting to fail to save somebody again.

My stance on revising fan edits.

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I agree with Hal on this … please … no garage scene!

“Because you are a PalpaWalker?”

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V6 exists now, and the HD versions are on their way up to the Google Drive, with torrents to follow. The SD versions are still encoding. I’ve updated the OP with a current changelog, with asterisks denoting V6 changes. I’m very pleased with the final product, and I’d have very few qualms about hypothetically showing it theatrically. In other words, it comes pretty darn close to passing that sort of test in my mind.

Once I’ve gotten everything out the door for TAS V6, I will have to wait on a few things from others for Episodes 3 and 4, and nearly all my source material for Episode 6. So I may jump over to Episode 8 for a while, though would hold off finishing it until after Episode 9 comes out.

My stance on revising fan edits.

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Best news of the month! I’m super excited for watching it. Going by the changelog, I think you’ve pretty much nailed it good sir. 😄

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Congrats on finishing V6! Looks promising, and I can’t wait to check it out.

Hal 9000 said:
*Reinstated the original ending to the packing scene

Oh no, please don’t tell me you reinstated the moment where Anakin stares lustfully at Padme and she tells him that he’s making her feel uncomfortable, to which he smiles(!) like an absolute creep. That’s easily one of my least favorite moments in the entire film. My reaction every time I see it is “get the hell out of there Padme”. Especially in the #MeToo era, this moment seems in poor taste, and I felt the way you had handled it previously was completely seamless.

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Octorox said:

Congrats on finishing V6! Looks promising, and I can’t wait to check it out.

Hal 9000 said:
*Reinstated the original ending to the packing scene

Oh no, please don’t tell me you reinstated the moment where Anakin stares lustfully at Padme and she tells him that he’s making her feel uncomfortable, to which he smiles(!) like an absolute creep. That’s easily one of my least favorite moments in the entire film. My reaction every time I see it is “get the hell out of there Padme”. Especially in the #MeToo era, this moment seems in poor taste, and I felt the way you had handled it previously was completely seamless.

I just saw V6, and he did add it back in.

The name’s Lawson. Noah Lawson.

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nl0428 said:

Octorox said:

Congrats on finishing V6! Looks promising, and I can’t wait to check it out.

Hal 9000 said:
*Reinstated the original ending to the packing scene

Oh no, please don’t tell me you reinstated the moment where Anakin stares lustfully at Padme and she tells him that he’s making her feel uncomfortable, to which he smiles(!) like an absolute creep. That’s easily one of my least favorite moments in the entire film. My reaction every time I see it is “get the hell out of there Padme”. Especially in the #MeToo era, this moment seems in poor taste, and I felt the way you had handled it previously was completely seamless.

I just saw V6, and he did add it back in.

Not entirely sure why it was, either. That moment is not only creepy but it also makes me cringe.