It’s been a while so I can’t remember exactly what my plan was, but essentially I would have kept the intro to the scene exactly as it is in Legendary, but after the champagne pop, continue the scene as it is in the theatrical release. That way we see are introduced to the slave children and the fathiers, and manage to have a tiny bit of character development for both Rose and Finn. I understand that you might not like Finn all that much, but in my mind this really helps sell the idea that he’s realizing there’s more to life than self-preservation and saving Rey - that he can help others and fight injustice.

And then yeah, I guess I’d cut the entire fathier chase? Not sure if a truncated version could be pulled off. But basically I’d play the rest out exactly as you have it already.

Oh, and maybe it’s overkill, but I’d want to redub the “parking violation” alien to make him sound less “southern American”. A more neutral accent or alien language would help him blend into the story a little better in my opinion. Right now he just stands out.