I think instead of intercutting the scenes at the very end when the ties are coming with Kylo then Rey then hux I would do them one after the other. The energy of the scene is just too frantic for what feels like it should be a scene of suspense.
In other words less cutting when the ties arrive
Though I’m still pretty happy with that bit it might be worth another look. I was trying to give the scene more energy via cuts but maybe less is more.
Continuing with scenes about Ben’s past, I’ve taken another stab at the Han/Leia discussion:
https://vimeo.com/339205661
Password: fanedit
My first attempt at an edit was to cut the scene after Leia says ‘That’s when I lost you both’ to give it a more dour tone, but it’s important to show the difference between Han’s attitude and Leia’s. With this version I’ve cut the unnecessary explanation of why Han went back to smuggling, which means that the weird re-introduction of Ben could be cut as well (‘We lost our son…forever’). Most importantly, no Snoke.