It also doesn’t look awful on my phone, but this might work if you try to either drop the quality of the rest of the scene a little, or somehow increase it like with what has been done to other deleted scenes. Also if Snooker, or another editor, was trying to make the film’s quality feel more retro across the board, it might help hide the quality difference.

I wonder if you used a new slurping sound effect instead of the one used in the scene, it could help more. Also maybe regarding the scene to match the rest more as well. I think it is a nice moment and it could be worth the trouble to try and make it work.

I would also consider placing the establishing shot of the transport flying through space at the end of this scene rather than the beginning in order to help buffer the transition to the next scene.