I’ve been away for a little bit, but I’ve been keeping up with your posts and everything keeps looking good. I think a discussion can still be had regarding the Finn dream inclusion, but I think it fits it wonderfully and I like the idea of Rey not answering with ‘Luke’, and letting it be open to interpretation (Luke? Finn? Ben?). I’m wondering how you’ll make a POV shot of Finn’s ship though.
Honestly, I would say you should stick with this idea for the sole purpose of differentiating it from Restructured. Technically it still is the Restructured model, but with a twist. I will say that the one thing this addresses is the complaint of the extended Hosnian destruction kind of detracting from Han’s death scene. I’ve always seen it as a one-two gut punch sorta thing, but pushing the Hosnian destruction back allows for Han’s death to not have to share the spotlight, if that makes sense. I’m sure someone could describe this better than I could at the moment.
With that said, since the ‘Starkiller’ motif starts playing when Han touches Ben’s cheek and as he falls, will you replace the music with something else, or let it play out in relative silence before Chewbacca’s roar breaks it? What about when you cut to Leia’s reaction a little later? Will there be different music? New ambience?
I also like how Poe doesn’t necessarily blow up Starkiller now, but the damage he did triggers it once it fires. It doesn’t make destroying it feel so easy. Also having the Starkiller motif play over the Oscillator blowing up and the planet crumbling makes Starkiller feel that much more powerful, that its cannon is literally ripping the planet apart. And I think this works better than the drawn out Resistance reactions from Restructured in some other ways as well.
I do have a few nitpicks though. One thing I wonder about is how having Hosnian blow up right after Rey’s victory over Kylo, which is sort of the climax of the film (like Luke blowing up the Death Star in ANH), will affect the ‘emotional flow’ of the film. So now the audience is like, “Yaaaaay- oh, wait.” Does that make sense? Maybe we’ll still get that when they escape and Starkiller blows up?
I think there was a similar point of concern with Restructured, which was why having Starkiller target the Resistance Base afterward and then Poe stopping it was retained, right?
Now, if a goal was to escape with the final piece of the map though wink wink nudge nudge, it might maintain some semblance of victory. (Not trying to push that idea on you. The third act map idea might just be what I eventually add to the tapestry of TFA fan edits)
Some smaller nitpicks, I know you had to trim Kylo and Rey’s duel a little because shit starts crumbling around them, but the cut stood out to me and I wonder if there is a way to retain any more of it. Secondly, the wide shot of Rey laying on Finn feels like it lasts too long. I wonder if you could keep the shot of Rey turning off the saber and running into the woods, as well as having the music end sooner, could help not make that shot feel as dragged out. That’s just my own personal feeling though.
There a few issues here and there but I think this could work with just a little more polishing. Great work on this idea, man.