That’s pretty good! I like how you repurpose the few shots at the beginning that the ‘Restructuring’ had to exclude.
I have vowed never to rest until these shots are returned to the film 😉
That’s pretty cool! That’s a nice new transition you’ve made, and it sounds good. I also like the quick cut to Kylo Ren’s face and the intense strings, during Rey’s second attempt.
In this version, you do lose that idea you had though about Han and Finn’s arrival distracting Kylo and buying Rey enough time to escape. Although I’m guessing you’re still trying to imply their arrival somehow encouraged Rey to try again, right?
It’s true that most of that idea has been lost, but it could still be up to interpretation as to whether or not Rey would have escaped the cell block if Kylo hadn’t been distracted by the Falcon’s arrival. I didn’t intend to imply that Rey could sense the Falcon here, but that is certainly one interpretation. Maybe if there was some dialogue from the Trooper’s intercom to that effect…