I’m not sure of the suggestion in the Kylo vision - are you suggesting that I try and highlight the difference between the two characters’ ideologies?
For the drawings, I think it would be easier and more effective to simply have the island with no figures. After all, Luke has closed himself off from the Force in a way where Rey admits later that she can’t sense him, so I’ve come around to the idea that she really should only see the island and the texts.
In other news, I’ve had an idea about restructuring the Starkiller infiltration. It’s lengthy, but it involves much of the movie:
Resistance base until Leia says ‘tell me all you know’.
Rey and Kylo interrogation, Snoke demands Rey.
Leia realizes her part of the map is useless.
Chewie and the doctor.
Han and Leia talk.
Starkiller charging (with shot establishing Kylo watching)
Resistance planning session and Han and Leia’s goodbyes.
Rey struggles with escape, fails. Kylo approaches.
Falcon Lands.
Trooper informs Kylo that sensors were triggered in sector 718, Kylo goes to investigate.
Not how the Force works.
Hux update.
Kylo searches the Falcon (Apparently in sector 718).
Base Infiltration, Phasma captured.
Rey hears Stormtrooper chatter of base disturbances, finally escapes.
Han and Finn threaten Phasma.
Rey goes onto the wall.
Phasma triggers alarm.
Rey goes into hiding.
Fighters sent in.
Kylo sees fighters from the Falcon.
Fighters make first pass.
Kylo returns to Rey’s cell.
Kylo informed that Rey not found in the hangar, says that Rey is dangerous, Senses Han.
Han and Finn plan prison break, find Rey.
This version does a lot of things that previous version have attempted, such as establishing Finn’s rescue attempt before Rey escapes, allowing space for Kylo to brood, Phasma being useful, etc. However, this version would go further in that Finn’s rescue attempt is what delays Kylo long enough for Rey to discover her power and escape. In essence, both characters are instrumental in the escape. Even better, Kylo is now in very close proximity to Han when he senses him, making this ability more realistic and heightening the tension going into the Oscillator.