Very good suggestions RL, thank you! As you say, the scene doesn’t really work yet, and maybe it’s better to only have the Kylo imagery and leave the Rey dream as simply sounds and voices overlaid on top of the shots from around Rey’s house. Maybe go back to the original concept of no music, and letting the sound effects tell the whole story. The imagery is provided later with Kylo’s description anyway.
As for the imagery in the interrogation, it might be interesting to try the distortion effect seen in the Anakin visions, since that’s canon for Star Wars. I tend to veer away from flashes and short cuts of action since it often feels distracting to me, but maybe it could work here.