After sitting with the previous restructuring for a while, I feel like it’s too much ‘A’ plot exposition to put the intimidation scene right after the Finn/Phasma confrontation. The trouble is, there’s really nowhere else to put the intimidation scene. I tried to place it right after Rey finds BB-8 and follow it directly with the escape, but it also feels too abrupt. The scene has become extremely dramatic in its current form and giving insufficient space on either side really compromises the gravity of the Starkiller visions.

I eventually made a place for it however, by breaking one of the rules. It’s now between Rey’s dinner and finding BB-8, which means that the Stormtrooper helmet transition from Finn to Rey is preserved, and actually strengthened by a pilot’s helmet transition on the other end, allowing Rey to be the symbolic link between Finn and Poe.

Password: fanedit

Some color correction was required in the second half of Rey’s evening to make it feel like more time has passed.
There’s the issue of cutting away from Rey’s story before she is officially linked to the plot, but I think an audience would be sufficiently on board with Rey’s story to be intrigued by where it is headed.