Here’s a fairly quick and dirty version of the restructure.
Password: fanedit
The sequence is now:
-Poe arrives on the Finalizer, Finn is accosted by Phasma
-Poe is interrogated
-Rey’s day and finding of BB-8
-The Rescue
-Hux sends the squad to the wreckage
-Finn awakens/sees Niima outpost
-Hux and Kylo bicker
-Rey arrives at Niima with BB-8/Plutt bargains for the droid
-Finn arrives at Niima.
The Apocalypse TIEs seemed out of place, so I decided against using them. Without that buffer, I had to leave the Hux and Kylo scene where it was originally.
That’s true too. I don’t think it would hurt to try and push the grass in one direction, and if it is too much, find a happy medium somewhere.
You also will have that wide shot where Rey swoops by the sunset on her way back home. The sun is very visible there so you’ll have a clear shot to illustrate the sun’s color.
Grass?
Regardless, I’ve since discovered that every attempt at turning the sun/sky a different color plays havoc with the explosions and blaster bolts later on. If it was just a few shots I could work around it, but there are dozens of shots which would need serious work and I don’t know if it’s worth it.
There is an exterior shot of the Finalizer just before Kylo Ren’s monologue to Vader’s helmet. Since you already plan to move that scene (as far as I remember), it might act as a buffer between the Interrogation and the Escape. The problem is, there’s Starkiller Base in the background so that would have to be removed, which is surely a time consuming project if it’s even possible.
Good idea. There really needs to be less time between Finn being sent to Reconditioning and the rescue. As it is, I don’t know how to do that without Rey’s day getting in the way. Unless…
Opening crawl paragraph 3 describes how a clue to Luke has been found on a planet ravaged by war.
-Cut from false starfield to Rey opening the compartment, as was intended at some point in TFA’s writing.
-Show Rey’s day through shot of her riding past the setting sun at dusk, then interior of her home until the wall of scratches.
-Use this as a transition to Tekka describing the despair in the galaxy, through his remark about Leia being royalty.
-Closeup of BB-8 viewing danger, rushing into the hut to warn Poe.
-Action, Kylo, return to Finalizer, etc.
-Poe’s interrogation.
-Rey’s home interior, making dinner (repurposed as breakfast), sitting out watching the evening (morning), finding BB-8 (sans ‘tomorrow you leave’). This extended introduction to Rey might justify using the Reydream here.
-The rescue, Finn’s journey to Niima, Hux and Kylo bicker.
-Rey arrives at Niima, Plutt’s offer.
-Finn arrives at Niima.
This restructure has many advantages - the passage of time is very clear in day and night cycles, Rey gets enough of an introduction to perhaps use the Reydream, and Rey finding BB-8 is short enough that Finn could reasonably have postponed his trip to Reconditioning, vs the original where an entire day goes by in the meantime.