I really like it through ‘stay close to me and you’ll be safe’. It feels like that’s the end of the lecture to me. Maybe if you put the line about quieting the mind before the ‘stay close’ line it could work better, but I don’t think the last line about ‘time and training’ makes sense without Anakin responding.
Post #1260128
- Author
- NeverarGreat
- Parent topic
- Get ready for "Star Wars - Shroud of the Sith", a radical fan edit of "The Phantom Menace"
- Link to post in topic
- https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/1260128/action/topic#1260128
- Date created
- 16-Dec-2018, 4:23 PM