Your work is good but you need to move further away from the original. Otherwise you repeat the same mistakes.
The movie is badly edited AND has a lot of bad ideas.
Still it’s quite decent if you can see beyond that.

Drop the sabre toss and use deleted scenes + TJA footage.
Link the movies and get right into Luke and Rey.

Here’s how my personal edit starts:
https://streamable.com/earh0

It’s not perfect, but somehow even the milk scene (with a small edit) falls into place.
I’ve added some stock footage to create establishing shots.

Just a suggestion, but don’t be afraid to move away from the original stuff.
And please, use the alternate Finn introduction (no water ball) 😃