Post #1259206

Alright, here’s my new Super-Anti-Canon* Star Wars Ranking List™.

*“Anti-canon” 'cause “canon” is a dumbshit concept which ruins everything and I hate it.

• “George R. Binks” — 10/10
• Star Wars comic strip (Archie Goodwin & Al Williamson) — 9/10
• Alan Moore’s Star Wars comics — 9/10
• The Empire Strikes Back — 9/10
• Star Wars — 9/10
• A Valentine Story — 9/10
• Dark Forces Trilogy — 9/10
• Original Marvel Star Wars comics (pre-ROTJ) — 9/10
• The Thrawn Trilogy — 8/10
• I, Jedi — 8/10
• Crimson Empire — 8/10
• Tales of the Jedi: Knights of the Old Republic & The Freedon Nadd Uprising — 8/10
• Tales of the Jedi: Redemption — 8/10
• The Corellian Trilogy — 8/10
• Splinter of the Mind’s Eye — 8/10
• Rogue One — 8/10
• All pre-AOTC Boba Fett comics & short stories — 8/10
• The Clone Wars (2008 series) — 8/10
• X-Wing: Rogue Squadron comics — 8/10
• Star Wars Tales — 8/10
• Dark Empire — 7/10
• Dawn of the Jedi — 7/10
• Tales of the Jedi: The Dark Lords of the Sith — 7/10
• The Hand of Thrawn Duology — 7/10
• The Truce at Bakura — 7/10
• Crimson Empire II: Council of Blood — 7/10
• Tales of the Jedi: The Sith War — 7/10
• Junior Jedi Knights — 7/10
• Galaxy of Fear — 6/10
• Young Jedi Knights — 6/10
• Tales of the Jedi: The Golden Age of the Sith & Fall of the Sith Empire — 6/10
• The New Rebellion — 6/10
• The Black Fleet Crisis Trilogy — 6/10
• Original Marvel Star Wars comics (post-ROTJ) — 6/10
• Dark Empire II — 6/10
• Star Wars comic strip (Russ Manning & co.) — 6/10
• Star Wars Rebels — 6/10
• Empire’s End — 5/10
• Droids: The Adventures of R2-D2 and C-3PO — 5/10
• The Crystal Star — 5/10
• Return of the Jedi — 5/10
• The first 40-odd minutes of The Last Jedi — 5/10
• The Force Awakens — 5/10
• Clone Wars (2002 series) — 5/10
• Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure — 5/10
• Ewoks: The Battle for Endor — 5/10
• The Clone Wars (film) — 5/10
• Crimson Empire III: Empire Lost — 5/10
• Callista Trilogy — 5/10
• Modern Marvel Star Wars comics — 5/10
• The Jedi Academy Trilogy — 4/10
• Jedi Prince — 4/10
• The Phantom Menace — 4/10
• The Star Wars Holiday Special — 2/10
• Attack of the Clones — 2/10
• Revenge of the Sith — 2/10
• The New Jedi Order — fuck
• Legacy of the Force — this
• Legacy — SHIT

And yeah — against my vow, I did watch some of TLJ. It happened months ago, during an intense moment of curiosity-borne weakness. I was so thoroughly bored by the proceedings, however, I shut if off after less than an hour, ultimately obeying the spirit of my vow if not the letter. I haven’t had a pang of curiosity since.