That’s interesting. You see the people I know with dysphoria fall into 2 camps. There are those who accept it’s something, but they don’t think it’s right to fix it (operate) because of their beliefs? And then there are those like that friend of mine who’s still pre-op.
The former group you describe is one I’ve never seen trawling through support groups or general meeting places for trans people. Probably because of that opposition to the treatment that alleviates dysphoria.
As for your friend… I am autistic as well. That’s not a factor in how “sorted through” I am with this. Likewise, you absolutely cannot just jump on board of any sort of operation. It takes a minimum of a year on HRT before any facility capable of it will even consider seeing you. Now, there’s been debate over whether that’s too long, whether such gatekeeping is helpful at all, but the year of HRT before surgery is the standard currently. On top of that, everyone jumps to talking about whether or not someone will “regret” SRS. For the most part, it’s rare that such a thing happens, and as I said on the religion thread, for transfemme individuals it has a lot more to do with pressure from society than them actually regretting it. (It’s a more complicated instance for trans masc detransitioners)
What do you think? Is a year too long? Or not long enough? I mean you’ve been on this road for at least 5 years (if I’ve got that right)? What took the time to get from there to here? What was the aha moment for you when you figured it was time to turn thought to action?
What took me so long was not having the resources to do so until 2016, and from 2016 to 2018 was about them redirecting and gatekeeping me until I managed to get in their good graces and be allowed a prescription. Had I access to an informed consent clinic, I would have been going along this much faster.
Ah kk
If your friend is pretty firm it’s the right way to go, then they really should pursue it. Dysphoria becoming some other feeling of, “something’s not right,” doesn’t happen.
That’s the big problem with him. He’s not a firm type. I mean take his trying to tell his parents? 2 years running and still nope. He keeps promising himself and keeps talking himself out of it. But at the same time he’s sure he wants the operation. I keep telling him if he can’t commit to talking about it how can he commit to the full operation? It seems like a mixed view to me. It makes me worried.
Sounds to me like procrastination cause by anxiety, or something similar. I know I’ve been in those shoes. That doesn’t mean they shouldn’t pursue HRT or some such.
Definitely anxiety. Maybe I should get him to talk to you? I don’t know how you’d feel about that?
From the people I know who’ve gone through it, it starts off painful (Because their bodies are healing, so of course it’s painful) but when the pain starts to subside, it becomes normal. It’s just kind of a part of you now. It improves emotions greatly, sure, but those improved emotions become the norm, and the individual moves on with their life.
How many years has it been since they’ve made the transition on average? I mean how far past the pain are they in general?
All over the board. Usually the pain subsides after a few weeks or months, and the people I’ve talked to have varied from having just received it to going on years afterwards.
That said, it’s not always that easy to find those who have been post-op for several years, as occasionally they move “past” being trans and just start living their life as their preferred gender identity without thinking about it or identifying as trans at all.
That’s a good point. Funny I didn’t think of it that way.