At the risk of being banned, I am going to say something.

First of all I was told not to return after I made two posts at fanedit.org that condoned Colipso’s open letter. I do somewhat regret those posts. I have been told by those that I respect that they(my posts) and Colipso’s open letter went too far. After rereading Colipso’s letter, I do have to say that I do not agree with everything said. But I do agree with the anger behind it. I do wish to make clear I that never seriously wished that Jay would die(I don’t think Colipso does either). I considered the last line just another way of saying “fuck off”. But I was reminded by someone that a few years ago Jay was in a serious car accident. That could put a different spin on the last line. I had totally forgotten about the car accident(Colipso may not have even ever known about it). I do feel bad about that. If I had remembered about the car accident, my reaction would have been different.

But why did I react the way I did? Anger. Anger at what has gone on here for years. I have been a forum member here for 15 years. For a large percentage of that, I have felt like dirt under Jay’s feet. I realize I share part of the blame. I know some it goes back to my actions during what I have always called the great forum schism(now I guess it is the first forum schism) back in 2006 with the situation involving Dayv and fanedit.com(now fanedit.org). I do regret some of how I acted and some of what I said. I believe I have said that before. I also deeply regret the times I trolled on here. I admit it was childish and stupid and I am embarrassed about doing so. I do believe that even though I have tried to move on from both, I don’t think Jay has never been able to truly forgive me and it has caused animosity between us for years. But it is not just that.

It has do with years of Jay acting like he preferred the Trolls over legitimate forum members. It used to be trolls could get away with murder on here. I have been the victim of bullying and personal attacks from trolls, with Jay and his mods doing nothing. Finally, they started moderating the off topic section, but my anger at having to put up with the trolls for years while Jay and the mods did nothing, remained. To me at the time I thought all Jay and the mods should do is just perm ban the trolls and leave off topic otherwise un-moderated. I think I now realize it’s a little more complicated than that. I also felt and still feel that Jay has never appreciated the special place that off topic became(note, I did not say perfect). To my point of view, he has always had disdain for the off topic section and consequently, we(those post most often in off topic) have felt like Jay’s dirty ugly step children. That fed into the animosity and my anger. There were also multiple PMs to you and other mods that went unanswered. That too fed into my anger.

I was keeping that inside me for along time and then came a tipping point. Jay making oojason a moderator(btw, Jay should have made that announcement, not Silverwook, announcing new mods is a job for the admin). In my opinion, that just did not work. Part of that is colored by how it started. I was in a bad mod one weekend in late September of 2017 and had gone a bit too far in posting in the politics thread. Up to that time the rules, at least in the off topic were not being enforced all that strictly. If the politics threads were visible I could point to posts made within weeks of that September that clearly violated the rules and yet no one had done anything about them. It was clear that the rules were not being enforced strictly. Then I made the posts in September of 2017 and oojason stepped in. I didn’t even realize he had been made a moderator. We got into an argument and I got temp banned(at the time I didn’t realize whether the ban was temp or perm because I didn’t realize it was oojason that banned me). It shortly became clear that oojason was very strictly enforcing the rules. The problem is, until after I got banned, no one had given any warning that the rules were now going to be more strictly enforced. Another thing was that I got temp banned before anything had been done to the likes of Darth Id, General Frevious, and Jediuze(I forget how it is spelled and I can’t see the politic thread to get the right spelling) which were clearly trolls and had behaved much worse than I did. This was a tipping off point for me. It made me think there was a double standard going on. It just further cemented my anger. But I again tried to more on from it. Then oojason went nitpicking in the offtopic section and punished people for ridiculous things. He was ruining the fun for a lot of people. I think oojason did a terrible job, I am not the only one that thinks so. It didn’t help that we did not know whether Jay ordered that the rules be more strictly enforced or whether oojason had taken it upon himself to do so. I felt that he treated me like he was so much better than I and like I was some sort of terrible and despicable person who needed to be taught how to behave by him. He always assumed the worse about my intentions. That even further cemented my anger. Anyway, It spiraled from there to the latest decision to not only lock the 2nd politics thread and ban the discussion of politics, but also to disappear the two politics threads(without any explanation given for the disappearance until I asked). I was really pissed. I was ready to write a flame like Colipso did. I came very close, but people kept telling me not to. So I condoned his open letter as a result of anger that had built up for years.

Things that I think need to be fixed:

Better communication and P.R.(public relations). There is no way the politics threads should have just disappeared without explanation. Yes, you finally gave one, but it shouldn’t have waited until you were asked. You should have known that people were going to wonder why the threads disappeared and whether they were just invisible or deleted. It was obvious as hell. You also have to learn to realize how the timing of the banning of politics looks. Maybe it wasn’t a rash decision based on what had been going on in there in regards to the “cool” comment. Maybe you had been thinking about shutting down politics for a while and what had occurred was just a tipping point. Maybe what occurred in the thread had nothing to do with your decision to ban politics. Regardless, you have to realize how things look is a factor. Appearance means something. Another thing, poor communication when bans occur. The last time I got banned(for reasons that I deserved) I had to PM Silverwook on fanedit.org to find out how long the ban was and whether it was temp or perm. That should not happen. Banned forum members should not have to go to other forums that mods here post on, to find out conditions about their bans. They should be clearly communicated. What if Silverwook had not been a member on fanedit.org? How would I have found out? Another thing that clearly demonstrates your lack of communication skills was the situation involving your email address. I forget what thread it was, but some time ago you told people not to send emails to that address as you were no longer checking it and hadn’t been for a long time. If you don’t want to use that email address, fine. But the moment you stop checking it should be the moment you tell people not to use it, not after you’ve stopped checking it for months(or years?). I wonder how many people sent you emails using that address that were not responded too? I wonder how many of them thought you had deliberately decided not to reply to them? I know I thought that. If you are going to stop using an email address, you should inform people at the time you stop using it. You should have also given us new email address to use. Admins should have email addresses for forum members to use. It just makes sense for admins(especially owners) to have an email address. As far as I know, you’ve never given us replacement email address for the old one. The whole thing is just evidence of your poor communication skills. When you make decisions you need to do a better job at explaining them and whatever general problem you are having(like new members feeling unwelcome by off topic posters).
Inconsistent moderation. Let us face it, how Silverwook moderates compared to how oojason did is night and day. They are entirely different. That is a problem. Moderation, no matter who is doing it needs to be consistent. It is not fair that whether someone is punished for something and/or what the punishment is, depends on who is doing the moderating. Tell your moderators how you want and expect the forum to be moderated and make sure they are all moderating it the same. This would also help in making clear how you expect people to behave.
Bad attitude. You are the Admin here, and you will be until and unless you step down. If you want this to be a quality place, the leader here needs to have a better attitude. Quit with the rudeness in your posts. Quit with the arrogance and disdain. You say you want to be treated like a regular person sometimes have have your rudeness(for want of better wording) treated how we would treat others’ rudenesses. Unfortunately,it doesn’t work like that. Like it or not, you just can’t get way from the admin badge, just like cops are still cops when they are off duty. You can’t have your cake and eat it too. Also I think it can benefit the forum when the admin acts like how he/she wants the rest of the forum members to act. Like it or not, Jay, how you act is an example to all other forum members. You just can’t escape that(unless you wish to step down).
Don’t be so hesitant to perm ban people. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t agree with all the bans lately and I don’t think people should be perm banned at a drop of a hat. I think it should be done carefully, wisely, and mercifully. But do you know why your warning and temp bans were ineffective? I think it is because the fear of a perm ban was not present. You want people to follow your rules you have perm ban continued violations at some point. Yes, issue plenty of warnings and temp bans first, but at some point a perm ban may need to happen. Another thing you could try is long term temp bans. Perhaps bans for six months or year or longer (this would be after plenty of warnings and short temp bans).
Don’t punish everyone for the acts of a few. The banning of politics is an example of this. There are many that like to discuss politics that did nothing wrong and were punished right along with those you deem to be guilty. That is unfair. Punish the people that misbehave, not everyone. If that means perm banning those that misbehave, perm ban them. It may be harsh, but it is better than punishing the innocent right along with the guilty.
Quit disrespecting the off topic section. Maybe we haven’t welcomed new members as you would have liked. But off topic is not the cesspool you think it is. It is a unique and special place. Yes, it needs some fixing. But it also needs some respect from the forum’s admin and owner.
Bring politics back. Yes things need to be done to fix the problems you were having. But don’t just get rid of it. At the very least, make them visible again. They are part of forum history. They are part of what makes the off topic section unique and special.
Remember the cause that started the forum. The oot is still not being given the treatment it deserves, yet you have distanced yourself from the petition and the cause. I wish you would stop doing that.
Get more mods and maybe consider adding an admin. I think it would help if you had more people sharing the work and someone else with more authority than just that of a moderator. This would also help when at times you and the mods need breaks.
Suggested new rules:

Do not make new forum members feel unwelcome.

(assuming politics is brought back)

Do not take politics outside the politics thread(s)
Political conversation needs to be civil and open minded. No insults, personal attacks, snide replies, rude replies. (and probably more)

There are probably a lot more I could talk about and new rules I could suggest and things I could say about what has caused my anger on here. I am sure I have done a terrible job at expressing myself in this post and it is already too long. Well I guess that is that. You may not realize it Jay. But I care about this place a lot. This is or was my hangout and home on the internet. Your disdain for the off topic section and myself, hurts. I have posted all the above in the interest of getting off my chest and in the interest of improving this forum, not to annoy or hurt you.

Finally, I want to make clear that my anger has nothing to do with your current political stance. Yes, I disagree with you about what you say about Trump. But I am not angry at you for that. Not in the least. In fact, I agree with you distancing yourself from the Democrats. Remember, I pride myself on being a Rino(Republican in name only), and not a Dem. I am by no means a party yes man.

If Jay perm bans me, goodbye, farewell, and amen.

I will never forget my time as member of ot.com. I have learned a lot here. I made friends here. I find it very sad that all this has happened. Well, I guess that is that.

Bob Falfa, I am sorry about my rude comments way back when.

May the force be with you all.