Excellent! Great to feel like our ideas mesh and I think your comments make it clear-- we're both after the same thing: a better story. Your changes to my suggestions make sense to me. Don't worry about any pressure to finish from me or my neighbors-- we'll all be happy whenever. (I can't believe I made the short list-- Righteous!).
TM:
INT. FLYING SPACESHIP
Anakin: We have no idea where Kenobi got himself incarcerated this time. So we need a plan.
Padme: See those columns of steam straight ahead?
Anakin: That'll do.
(I considered incorporating “He’s as clumsy as he is stupid,” but it’s too much of a nod to the OT). This is very hostile, though- is it too much so, in your opinion?
I think "clumsy/stupid" definitely crosses the line. I never meant for Anakin to outrightly express much hostility-- this version of Anakin is too classy and too repressed to do that. He's going to stew and keep his anger brewing in the subtext of his dialogue -- more like your suggested line above.
However, I think that particular line is stilted. Does this seem better to you?:
EXT. SPACESHIP
Anakin (OS): His signal's coming from deep underground. We have no idea where he's gone. We need a plan.
INT. SPACESHIP
Padme: See those columns of steam straight ahead?
Anakin: That'll do.
I think this version sets up how "seeing columns of steam" suggests a plan. Also, Anakin begins by listing a bunch of "reasons" this is difficult, but when Padme makes a single suggestion Anakin drops all his protests. He's a quick thinker and a natural leader who takes charge at the first opportunity.
I love the idea of hearing no Han/Leia theme, yet getting a rerranged "relative" of it. That would be appropriate and add a lot of OT style charm.
A side note (of no particular importance) -- another OT trait, or at least a "Star Wars" (ep IV/ANH) trait is the repeated use of the same footage if there isn't enough to create the scene you want. Regarding the scene where Anakin and Padme first receive Obi Wan's message and my suggestions for recutting to emphasize Anakin's p.o.v. -- I think there's enough footage to do my suggested cuts without slowing down/reversing or manipulating the shots. But if I'm wrong, you shouldn't be afraid to try using footage more than once because "episode IV" has a few shots like that too which I never noticed for 25 years or so.
I like Dukoo as a Sith. I don't have much enthusiasm about Padme always being a queen (although I'm sorry to differ in opinion with our comrade, Commander Courage). I agree that her being a queen makes "princess Leia" sound more sensible -- except isn't it supposed to be a secret that Padme is princess Leia's mom? That point doesn't really matter because it seems muddled in the current Saga anyway. But my objections center upon this: the theme of democracy vs. totalitarianism is the strongest, most important theme in the overall PT. Making Naboo a monarchy kind of defeats a lot of that-- which I'm against. Padme's best line in Ep III may be the one to the effect of: "So this is how freedom dies, to the sound of loud applause." Kind of an ironic statement from a born Royal. As a non-democratically chosen leader, she should be at home seeing an Emperor take over the Federation.
That's my feeling, anyway. Maybe the title "Queen" could be preserved for Padme throughout the trilogy without dumping her position's democratic roots somehow?
I love the screenshots. The "blue" shots still look kind of purple on my monitor, but I agree with CC that blue would be the best color. If it could be less saturated, it would look more OT. The green looks more convincing as the "intended" color in those shots.
I keep looking at the way the beasts come at Anakin/Padme/Obi Wan in the arena. I'm convinced the order they attack can be changed so Obi Wan comes last. The effect of this change maintains story momentum because it keeps the roles as they've been established: Obi Wan is the captor; Anakin and Padme are the rescuers. Having Obi Wan get attacked first chops off the connection between this scene and the ones that precede it.
I have to say, I don't think I've ever heard anyone suggest there could be an actual story at the heart of this movie before. I think with the changes you're making, Trooperman, you're in danger of actually pulling one together here. The real trick would be if Jar Jar could be made into a truly fun and interesting character in Episode I -- I suspect he could actually be made cool as opposed to just tolerable if his material were massaged enough. What a PT we'd have then, eh?