What a pointless remake. Now, I love Burton's stuff. And frankly I think the kids were great. But this movie suffers a host of problems that were positively evident in the trailer.
First and foremost, the film did not need to be remade. Second, if the Dahl family was going to allow this remake under the premise that it would match the original book more closely, then that's what they should have done. Instead, Tim Burton got his usual free rein and, together with Danny Elfman, they proceeded to act like a couple of kids in a candy store with $100 Million to spend.
Willy Wonka was traumatized as a kid because his father was an uptight dentist who wouldn't let him eat Candy? Where was that in the book? This was the entire motivation for his character and his weirdness.
And Willy Wonka NOT giving the factory to Charlie because he wouldn't leave his family behind? Touching, but not nearly as touching as the Everlasting Gobstopper twist at the end of the 1970 version. Guess what? Neither was in the book.
And, with sequel in hand, how can you not leave the movie setup for it's yet-to-be-filmed successor Charlie and The Great Glass Elevator?
Now for a moment about Elfman's score. DANNY, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD FIND A NEW MOTIF. The man has two songs: "The Simpson's Theme" and "Everything Else." I used to really dig his music but after hearing the same basic chords over and over, The Beatles and Elvis prove they're more inventive. Frankly I'm glad Elfman is off Spider-Man 3. Maybe they'll get a good score this time.
The best thing about Elfman's music was the lyrics to the Oompa Loompa songs and guess what ... he didn't write 'em, Roald Dahl did in the book. While I'm glad those sardonic words found the way onto the screen, could they have been any more ill-set to music? Doo-pah-de-doo indeed.
Now, can I say enough about how the "Sexiest Man Alive" has perhaps raped my childhood more than George Lucas? Johnny Depp drove the sardonic wit out of the character and concocted the only confection that he and Burton can seem to come up with: The most absolutely ill-adjusted main characters in movie history. He needed to play this one closer to Ichabod Crane, just as he should have played Ichabod closer to this one. Positive to negative, negative to positive. The look on the parents' faces as they watch Willy weird out the audience says it all. You half expect him to open his velvet coat and wave his own willy in front of the kids.
And he did this portrayal on purpose. It was mostly a middle-finger to the studio execs, not realizing how much of a middle-finger it is to kids around the globe.
What bugs me most of all is that I prophesied this movie. Not two months before this movie was announced I was sitting in my living room with my so charming wife watching Willy Wonka on HBO. I looked over and said "If they ever decide to remake this movie, Tim Burton should direct it." Slack jawed, she thought it was an inspired statement. Then my wish came true. Now is turned into a nightmare (before Christmas).
If I could place Gene Wilder's Wonka and Freddie Highmore's Charlie together, it would be the perfect Wonka movie. Instead, this one is more than a bit wonky.
P.S. Deep Roy rocked out loud in spite of Elfman's music and vocalizations.