I’m not suicidal like I once was. But I’m still in a funk. I drink way more than a person should. I still sorely miss my ex who disappeared without warning in January. I’m getting over it to where I’m not lovesick and heartbroken every day like I was but I still miss her. And when I’m out and see her I can tell by the way she looks at me that she misses me too, but somethings keeping her back. I’ll probably never understand. I don’t think even she understands. I’m starting to get a little less depressed about it. I’ve went on a few dates, all of them went well but none of them went anywhere because I’m just not capable of feeling anything for anybody right now but her. I’m in an unfortunate situation now with a girl I’ve been seeing the past week or so. She’s great. She really likes me. Really really likes me. She’s pretty. Great personality. Put together, good job, the whole package. But I just don’t feel anything for her like I wish I did. And I’m going to have to break that to her pretty soon before it gets worse. And I don’t want to. I hate hurting people. And she didn’t do anything to deserve it, and she really likes me. I thought I liked her too, and she is definitely deserving of it, but I just don’t. I like talking to her, like on the phone in texts and stuff. But when it’s time for the actual date I just want it to end. I hate letting people down.