I still think I should talk to her. That will happen on Saturday… However I will definitely try to keep it a bit lighter… we will see.
Dude. I’m thinking deep thoughts for you here. I’m trying to pan the scene and read between all things said and unsaid. And I’ve come up with a bit of a scenario.
So here’s a tip you should try on before saying words that can’t be unsaid.
If you love someone you usually think about them a lot. And in thinking about them a lot you’re usually further into the emotions and the feeling of connection that makes you want to be open and vulnerable to them than you’d be otherwise. That’s normal. That’s typical. But.
There’s a problem though. Because if the other person isn’t on that level? Well holy hell can all those words feel too heavy if said in the wrong order. I mean they can erase even a slight positive vibe because the realities don’t line up.
My strong advice to you is that talking deep is murder to an early relationship. I mean it’s like we complain of Lucas: show us, don’t tell us. Talk is the cheapest way to share feelings. It’s a commitment of words without actions.
But a girl wants to be the one to open up her love to you. She wants to lend that gift. She doesn’t want it forced from her. Or pulled out of her. She wants to show you with her eyes. With her smile. With a slight touch of her hand. With a closeness of her body brushed against you. With a welcoming of you into her deeper life step by step.
The trouble with words is they try to use logic to frame emotion. And man that doesn’t usually work until the feelings are already there for both of you. She’s got to be feeling giddy when you’re near her. She’s got to be craving your hand over hers. She’s got to be wanting you to be near and keep her company in dark times and share fun with you in light. She’s got to be feeling a whole lot of chemistry that might even make her a bit nervous when you’re nearby.
So I’m saying watch for these things. Chart these things. Look for the body language. Watch for the evidence before cornering her with words. I mean when you guys are in a group does she try to sit near you? Does she share any meaningful looks with you that only you and she would understand? Does she feel comfortable talking to you about things she doesn’t share with the group? Does she listen closer to what you say than others? Does she laugh even at your worst jokes? I mean does she seem to be trying even a little too hard now and then?
If you think about all the time you’re with her and come up negative on all of that? Then you’ve got to step up your game in a different way. Don’t do the great reveal until the final act. That’s so guy-like to want to cut right to the chase. But with girls? They like their trip into love to take place scene by scene. I mean have you ever watched a chick flick? Ever waded through a romance novel? The loving confessions come at the end. Never at the beginning. I mean the outbursts of true connection and real feeling are usually non-verbal. The clues are laid out in order. The words come later. The stringing of it all together into a love song comes with the closing credits.
So be careful.
Peace