For those who have been following my current emotional dilemma… it seems lunch isn’t happening, but it’s just going to be us two and another friend at this big fair. She helped put together my costume and I bought her ticket. We’re carpooling… so I think I’ll start this talk on the way home. Enjoy the time we’ve got and go from there. Very nervous, but after I managed to cry (yes, I ended up forcing myself to cry yesterday, don’t tell Dom) I feel a little better.
Good for you, really. The crying I mean. I wish I could make myself cry, I’ve tried many times and it’s never worked. I have very inactive tear ducts and I appreciate every chance I get to make use of them - always a very cathartic experience.
Anyway, I’d caution you to slow way down with this friend. Based on your past posts here, it seems like a) you don’t have many friends or good friends, and b) you’ve had poor success in terms of dating. Which tells me it’s possible that due to the desperations of a limited pool, you may be jumping to a conclusion about your feelings for this friend that might not be up to snuff. I’m just speculating here of course. It may seem like you’re “in love” with her but that may not be the case. There’ve certainly been times in my life when I thought I loved someone and couldn’t think of anything but them for weeks or months. But, when things inevitably didn’t work out, and I got over it, I was able to look at things with a critical eye. In some cases, yeah I was in love. But in most, not at all. Basically what I’m saying is I wish I had someone to knock some sense into me and tell me to actually consider if it made sense for me to be with that person.
All I’ll say is, if you struggle for friends as much as you say you do, I’d be very careful about jeopardizing a relationship with someone you consider your best friend, which is typically exactly what a declaration of love would do. In my opinion, you should not say anything and wait it out and see if your feelings are true, and if it seems like there’s a possibility she feels the same. If you absolutely must tell her (which again, don’t recommend), I’d be careful not to make a big deal of it and not to say that you “love” her, just indicate that you might have feelings for her and ask her how she feels - there’s a precarious line between seeming honest and seeming creepy.
When did telling someone you love them become something creepy?
Starting the whole “I’m interested in you, and I was wondering if it was mutual” conversation with a professional of love is too much. It is more likely to be perceived as obsession.