★★★★★★★☆☆☆

★★★★★★☆☆☆☆

★★★★★☆☆☆☆☆

This movie is a smorgasbord of ineptitude; Brigitte Nielsen can’t act, William Mesa can’t direct, Nick Davis can’t write, and most everything else exists on a spectrum of middling to embarrassing. On the plus side, Ms. Nielsen’s an Amazonian sexpot and Richard Moll is absolutely scrumptious in his supreme hamminess, so there’s no way in hell I could dislike this movie.

★★★★★☆☆☆☆☆

★★★★★★★☆☆☆

The apotheosis of Nicolas Cage.

★★★★★★★★★★

★★★★★★★☆☆☆

Enjoyed the ride, but the destination was a power pole to the head.

★★★★★★☆☆☆☆