Man, that’s really good.
Also, props for going ahead and making the alternatives. I agree with your feelings and feel like your main version has the best pacing so far.

The new vfx have really improved by the way! The laser shots feel a lot more natural to me, I hope you saw what I was getting at.

Also, I don’t know when you added the subtle laser flash on Finn’s face when he gets shot down, but I just noticed it and it really helps sell it.

A very tiny detail I was thinking about was, that we see most of Finn’s approach from the left side of the Finn, and when he gets shot, the AT-AT that shoots him is also on that left side (you can tell based off Kylo’s shuttle in the sky). But since he also crashes to the left, I wonder if it would make more since for him to be shot from an AT-AT on his right side, since he looks to his right, and the impact appears to push him to the left. All you would need to do is flip the shot of the AT-AT, but it also would sort of break this 180 axis that has been set up in this sequence, and there is a natural flow of the AT-AT firing to the right, and then Finn looking that direction in the next shot.
So I don’t if that would look more natural, or it looks more natural now as is.

Anyway, that is a nitpicks thing but I think this is coming together pretty well poppa. I’m interested to get other people’s thoughts on it. Because I think at this point we just want to know if there is anything else that needs to be done or could be done to really make this feel as seamless as possible.