Is it bad that there’s probably less than 4 hours on any given day where I couldn’t honestly post in this thread? Asking for a friend. I’ve fallen off the wagon pretty hard lol I start drinking as soon as I wake up. The 5 hours are basically just the first hour I’m up and taking a shower etc and the other 4 are the 2 hours before my lunch and the 2 before I get off. Now I don’t really feel bad or crabby or tense or like I’m withdrawing or anything like that or like I NEED a drink or anything like that in those 4 hours, or any of the times it gets extended due to unexpected circumstances of life, so I guess it’s not a total bust. Like if I just had to quit I could without a ton of trouble, and I have a couple of times and it was surprisingly easy both times. But I never have a good reason to, other than that I would probably just feel better in general. I’ve even had my liver checked a few times and it always comes back Perfectly fine other than that it’s obviously workinh hard but it’s always doing just fine. I drink a ton of water. At one point I thought it was in trouble, but it turned out the doctor interpreting the results for me was grossly overstating the effects it was having (in an attempt to get me to check in to a rehab center his clinic was associated with I assume) because I had it checked again later with more neutral doctors and workers and they said it was actually fine just a bit busy, which makes sense considering there was alcohol in my system during the test. I used to have high blood pressure but since it stayed 3 months after quitting one time it actually isn’t from drinking and it’s totally normal now that I’m on medicine… Medicine that isn’t known to be dangerous mixing with alcohol although it can have side effects for people, but for me it doesn’t even have any side effects at all. I feel totally fine physically even though I live drunk. I almost feel like my body is cursed by invincibility, besides high blood pressure I’ve always been totally healthy no matter how stupidly I live my life. I almost sometimes wish my body would start giving out so i would just HAVE to quit or slow down. Although i am only 24… But I’ve been living this way since 15 except instead of alcohol it was Adderall and bath salts and k2 and cocaine. (Years of which probably caused my seemingly permanent high blood pressure.)
Holy fuck I’m drunk, what have I even been talking about.