I don’t think it’s shocking for me to say that I am a total dumbass when it comes to this kind of thing, but since I have the opportunity, I’ll ask. Why is requiring surgery to declare yourself a male or female a bad thing? From my perspective, it seems like the logical thing to do, if a man is defined as being, you know, biologically a man, and a woman the same. I don’t mean to be provocative, I’m just genuinely curious.
Nothing can make a biological man a biological woman or vice versa, and for that reason (as well as for cost and other restrictions), a lot of transgenders aren’t interested in or able to go through such invasive and expensive surgeries. That’s why it’s about identifying as one gender or the other, not whether or not someone wants or can afford those surgeries.
I get that you’re trying to help my point, but…
That phrase hurts. It’s a phrase used by those who oppose my transition to invalidate it and try to convince me to stop. More than that, it’s one of the deepest dreads I have, the very thing that drives many other trans people to suicide. The fear that no matter what we do, in the end it’s all meaningless, because it’ll just not matter; we’ll never really be the gender we identify with.
Would it be too much to try to avoid that turn of phrase in the future? (also technically “Transgenders,” isn’t really a correct way of referring to trans people; it’s an adjective, not a noun.)